When I initially decided to publish Beautiful I was sort of daring myself to do it. I wanted to stop saying “I’ll publish a book someday” and take control. Because there’s always going to be a reason not to do something you want to do. At some point, you just have to do it anyway.
All of that sounds great. But now that the publication date is less than a week away, I find myself getting nervous. I woke up this morning wondering if was too late to back out of the whole thing. It’s not the prospect of strangers reading this book that scares me, it’s the prospect of people who know me reading it. Will their impression of me change? If so will that change be positive or negative? Will people judge my decision to go indie rather than try for a traditional publisher? My inner snob pops up occasionally and worries that people will judge me for writing genre fiction. Another part of me worries that people who came to know me via my blog will be disappointed when they read my fiction.
I’ve always felt that I reveal more of myself when I write fiction than when I write nonfiction. It seems counter-intuitive, but I think that fiction reveals more about how I think and feel. Plus, I’ve devoted a lot of time and energy to writing this novel, rewriting it, editing, revising, proofreading, selecting a cover, writing a blurb, finding beta readers and editors… I don’t want to feel like that time and effort was wasted.
Given the investment I’ve put into this, it makes sense that I’m nervous. A while ago I considered what I’d define “success” for this book. I decided that I’d consider it “successful” if some readers enjoy it. Not everyone will and I don’t expect that. But I want some to like it. And I want to write another book, and continue to grow. To do that, I know that I have to release this book. I’ve done what I can with it, and now it’s time to let it go and see what happens.
Does anyone have any advice for pre-publication jitters?